Life has dark secrets, and the hearts are few that treasure not some sorrow from the world.

Why did one call revoke and recall every single moment spent together with you.

You may not be his first, his last, or his only. He loved before he may love again. But if he loves you now, what else matters? He’s not perfect – you aren’t either, and the two of you may never be perfect together but if he can make you laugh, cause you to think twice, and admit to being human and making mistakes, hold onto him and give him the most you can. He may not be thinking about you every second of the day, but he will give you a part of him that he knows you can break – his heart. So don’t hurt him, don’t change him, don’t analyze and don’t expect more than he can give. Smile when he makes you happy, let him know when he makes you mad, and miss him when he’s not there.

I think maybe that’s the reason I’ve kept on.

Inexplicably, the roaring in her ears made it all seem so surreal. Almost as if black could turn to white, once she opened her eyes again. The haze would not subside. For sure, there were times when it all went away- but it never failed to return, thicker than ever and its cloying scent lingering on like stale smoke. And like a debilitating disease, it broke her down. Bit by bit; day by day- and more and more each time. The scars accumulated but she kept them hidden, in search of a better day. “I’ve had enough“, she told herself, for the thousandth time. But who was to say what’s enough? Who was to say “stop dishing out the pain“? And what did the world care anyway- they just kept coming, heads high up in their clouds of war, violence and anger. It’s no use, pushing against a brick wall. It’s frustrating. And you’ll only get hurt- not that it’s a bad thing, if taken literally. Especially if you seek to find comfort in pain. Pain to dull the pain, as they often say.

Tell me what happens, when all faith is lost in the one who used to hold your head up high and make your heart sing for the very existence of the relationship; when the time we spent in the past converge into an amorphous glob of meaningless facades which only serve to play over and over again in my head; when feelings of bliss dissolve to form lingering pain in the heart & when finally, all cause is lost. Tell me then, what happens?

Nightlife in the city with you- stay up with me, don’t fall asleep so soon. Skyscrapers and blinding lights that reflect the vibrance within, wanting so desperately to be unleashed. Cigarette smoke and alcohol so potent- tonight i will have the sweetest hangover. We’ll stroll along glittery sidewalks for all the world to see. They can’t stop us now; it was meant to be. There’s no need for the fluffy coat now, we’ll dance, skin on skin and our bodies will heat up like the fire within. We’ll keep each other warm for today; because we’ll leave each other so cold again tomorrow. We won’t obey the time- not tonight, we won’t. There’s too much to do, too much to see, and it’s finally just you and me. So take me where you please- we won’t leave the world behind because that’d just be too cliche. and besides, what’re our sinful escapades without the world and its wonderful nooks and crannies? So show me the way, and all that you know. All that you’ve seen and all that you’ve been. Show me your secrets and i’ll show you mine, because nothing in this world matters more than the way i’m feeling tonight- those ineffable emotions that run deep and etch themselves onto whatever that’s left of my reasoning and practicality, enshrouding and drowning them out slowly. I’m yours tonight and i’d have it no other way, so will you carry me in your arms and sing for me? Because i’d dance for you – just the way you’d want me to. We’re the Kings and Queens of tonight, we’ll have our fun. We’ll fall into a sleep-induced state of bliss, then we’ll awake with memories fresh of tonight.

The pink glitter and the amber glow.
Heels that go a-tapping on the wooden floorboard- we drown out all other sounds with the rhythm of our feet.
Slowly now, as the skirt dips and twirls below the knee.
Filled with legs that never tire, moving in synchrony with their partner’s, the room seems to grow bigger and bigger
as if making room for ghost dancers.
At the far end, a porcelain plate falls from the hands of a young boy, hitting the ground
and shattering into pieces.
No one sees, no one listens.
No one cares because they don’t have to.
Watch your step, you’re two counts behind.
The music will keep playing, and it’s getting faster now.
No, stop- you’re spinning out of control.
Don’t look over your shoulder because they’re three counts ahead.
Slow down my dear, you’re spiralling off in the wrong direction.
All you need to do is
focus.
Your feet and mine.
My heartbeat and your gentle breaths.
Our dance; your dance; you.

One recurring thought: I could actually keep living like this. The ups and the downs, the highs and the lows, the ins and the outs. And you.
Only you.

Nobody ever said it was going to be easy. Caught in the midst of a veritable swarm of people (who know nothing about anything, other than their own selfish wants and desires), with but a blurry whirlwind of activity going on around you, you come to find that the only thing that’s constant, reliable & maybe even somewhat tangible, is yourself. Sometimes it pays to listen to the thoughts within your head; you come to realise that none of the things that other people tell you actually mean anything- until and unless of course, you decide to process that information, justify it & undoubtedly agree with it. The pictures i put together with my pen aren’t always painted with a smile, but that’s the beauty of it; being able to appreciate Life at it’s highest and lowest points; being able to draw strength from one’s weaknesses and knowing that most things unpleasant will eventually come to pass- just like they always tell us. My motto (if i were ever to have one) would most definitely be, cliche as it may sound, to live for the moment. As far as i’m concerned, the future does not exist. What is, is. What is supposedly yet to come, hasn’t yet come- and thus, is nothing. Cherish what was, Relish what is, and at the very most, only but hope for tomorrow. Never, ever assume.

Right now, it’s a battle between the heart and the mind, and i can see the heart slowly rising up to claim its victory over the mind. I know this shouldn’t be the case, and i know i should really be thinking with my head for once.
My heart is surfacing its thoughts but time is ticking.. It never stops..

If only I met you earlier..